letter to vent

dear you,

thank you for once again proving urself to me and being a total jackass. im sorry i wear my heart on my sleeve. its my fault i guess i trust and love everyone. im sorry for that. i keep hoping for u to be nicer, calmer, and everything u never were. i dnt know if i will ever stop wishing for that but i hope u know i will be permanently damaged because of you.

in the past year i have learnt the true meaning of people and the NASTY ness they are capable of. people you feel u can trust or people who supposedly love you STAB you in the back. its a shame that people only think of their own gain and benefits and dnt look at the bigger picture.

i have gotten to the point where i trust no one besides my few close friends. they are my family. i am so sick and tired of people telling who's to be trusted and who is not to be trusted. you have ALL PROVEN yourselves to me for better or for worse.

just know once you loose my trust, its gone, i have not yet said all the things i want to say and dnt worry when i see you i will. once that is done if i am at fault then i can be the bigger person and say sorry. i will let by gones be by gones BUT if i find out the whole truth and i dnt like it, i will wish u all good luck bc you will need it.

there are certain people who think bc it has not been brought up that i must have forgotten. well just a heads up I HAVENT and i wont. please dnt prove me wrong and give me a reason to dislike u but im trying so hard not to.



i didn't write this to hurt anyones feelings. i wrote this to vent.

ps: if this hurts imagine what i have been feeling for the PAST YEAR.

letter to myself

i get stuck in a rut every often and then i write a letter to myself to get it together. this rut seems to be the longest i have had in a while, and this letter seems to be the best of the bunch


dear Kulzum,
this is a letter to yourself to get your shit together. i realize that in your head everytime you read a book or see a movie about someone “finding themselves”’, you want to quit your reality (meaning job, family, and basic day to day life.) and do that too but you cant do that. life does not work that way.

i realize your having a mid life crisis and you dont know what you want to do with your life and waking up every day is a bitch but seriously get it together.

you need to look hard in the mirror and face your demons within yourself. i realize your unhappy and you feel so mundane about life but please stop taking it out on people like your mother who mostly doesn't deserve it. yes there are some people who do deserve it like your father bc if he snaps you snap back and that is okay and justified.

i know its hard but writing seems to help, so why you do that everyday. dont be jealous of the life you wish you led, just keep reminding yourself that your sri lankan and because you are an only child you have to be perfect. everyone’s life takes them on different road and yours right now is apparently at a long ass traffic signal that wont turn green. but don't worry i have faith somehow someway when you least expect it it will turn green and you will be riding off in the sunset
Sincerely yours,

kulzum