If my grandma had her way I would be married right now to a sri lankan doctor/ engineer with 1 kid and a baby on the way. Since I turned 18 her mission in life has been to get me married.
In a way its sweet but for someone who is so cultured my grandma sure is sri lankan in her way of thinking about marriage and girls. Her favorite sentence to say to me is “kulzum to be happy you need a husband!” its cute until it becomes annoying and then there is screaming and crying and then a lot of im sorrys.
I did not grow up in sri lanka. I am not even sure I want to get married. I have made it very clear to my grandma I do not want to marry a sri lankan from sri lanka but over the years I have come to realize boys are boys no matter what country they are born and raised in. so basically my distaste in boys/men have spread to not just sri lankan boys/men but to ALL/most boys/men. My grandmother CLEARY doesn’t understand this and still I guess ignores what I say and STILL tries to find me a husband. I think now that she has taken it easy work wise and she has less to do (because she chooses to) she now has ample time to find me a “perfect match”.
I totally understand that my grandma grew up with the culture that promotes getting married young, making babies young, and staying home and being the perfect housewife. My grandma doesn’t even fit into this mold but still feels the need to make sure I do. My grandmother did get married young, made babies young and most importantly she started to work. True, it wasn’t by choice and it was out of necessity but she grew to love it. She is now an independent woman making her own money but still feels the need to get me married to a man “who will take care of me”
One would think I would learn to shut my mouth and just say no to every guy she thinks of introducing me to. But, no of course not because Im to cool for that. I have to make comments and snide remarks at everyone of the men. This upsets my grandmother and sends her into a frenzy of loud, screaming rants that I don’t understand because its in three languages.
I know she means well I just wish she would find a more presentable approach. All in all I have to either get with the program or once and for all let her know I aint having it because im running out of excuses
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
5 minutes of prayer, 15 minutes of gossip
One of the highlights of visiting the native land, besides talking to people I do not know but clearly know me, is visiting the village country. Village country is also known as matara, also known as my hometown. I was born there but from a small age I never knew accustomed to that city. The only reason I like going to Matara is because I get to run into Hafifa datha, or my grandma’s prayer lady. Her job is to come once a week to our house and pray to bless the house, but really she comes over and in all of 15 minutes everyone in the house at the time will know the WHOLE town gossip.
She really does come over with the best of intentions to pray, and lead a pious life, but within 5 minutes her prayers have turned into her talking about the shameful daughter of the milkman from 3 doors down. Everyone living in that house knows of this, everyone cant understand why my grandma STILL lets her come over to “bless the house by this and everyone is concerned except for my poor grandma who is always defeating her.
My grandma has this problem. She feels everyone elses problem is her problem, so if anyone needs help its my grandmas mission to help them. So anyone who needs a job comes to my grandma because they know she will find something for them to do at our house. That is in fact how Hafifa got this job of praying.
Hafifa came over one day with her woes, worries and troubles of not having any money. She always tells my grandma how she is well-versed in the Qur’an and how she loves reciting the Qur’an. That is when my grandma had this Brilliant idea to have her come over very Friday and “bless” our house. So for 3 years now like clockwork there she sits in my grandmas room at 9 :45 am “praying” when really she stops anyone who walks by and in detail becomes the CNN breaking news and tells us everything.
Hafifas other favorite thing to do is to introduce me to everyone she knows who is my age who is happily married. She really believes if I meet other women who are married, I too would want to be married with 2.3 babies. What she doesn’t understand is when I meet these girls I panic. Hafifa sees what they have gained ; babies, a husband, new family and responsibilities. I see what they have lost; their youth, freedom, and sleep.
It makes me laugh how two people can look at the same situation, person, or place and have two completely different views.
She really does come over with the best of intentions to pray, and lead a pious life, but within 5 minutes her prayers have turned into her talking about the shameful daughter of the milkman from 3 doors down. Everyone living in that house knows of this, everyone cant understand why my grandma STILL lets her come over to “bless the house by this and everyone is concerned except for my poor grandma who is always defeating her.
My grandma has this problem. She feels everyone elses problem is her problem, so if anyone needs help its my grandmas mission to help them. So anyone who needs a job comes to my grandma because they know she will find something for them to do at our house. That is in fact how Hafifa got this job of praying.
Hafifa came over one day with her woes, worries and troubles of not having any money. She always tells my grandma how she is well-versed in the Qur’an and how she loves reciting the Qur’an. That is when my grandma had this Brilliant idea to have her come over very Friday and “bless” our house. So for 3 years now like clockwork there she sits in my grandmas room at 9 :45 am “praying” when really she stops anyone who walks by and in detail becomes the CNN breaking news and tells us everything.
Hafifas other favorite thing to do is to introduce me to everyone she knows who is my age who is happily married. She really believes if I meet other women who are married, I too would want to be married with 2.3 babies. What she doesn’t understand is when I meet these girls I panic. Hafifa sees what they have gained ; babies, a husband, new family and responsibilities. I see what they have lost; their youth, freedom, and sleep.
It makes me laugh how two people can look at the same situation, person, or place and have two completely different views.
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